You know what they say about mushrooms? Kept in the dark. Fertilized with - well, you know.

fungus n : a parasitic plant lacking chlorophyll, leaves, true stems, roots and reproducing by spores.

Yuck! Then, what the heck is a Technology Mushroom? I meet, speak, and e-mail with them on a regular basis. Technology Mushrooms are those humans frustrated with technology (Who isn’t?) who really believe that by remaining in the dark, online knowledge and/or success will happen anyway. By osmosis? Where they got that idea from other than their own wishful thinking is beyond me. While in that dark corner they believe they will still be successful, the orders will pour in, the leads will be generated. You can tell the “Shrooms” as they are the ones who don’t make much effort to learn the rules of the online road, or even the basics of e-mail. They are typically the first to scream “I’m not a techie and I don’t want to deal with this!”.

Well, if you want to have a Web site or just be online, you’d better get resolved to the fact that it will behoove you to become as much of a “techie” as you can stand. It can’t be avoided. You cannot succeed in the dark. Heck, where else but in the ole U.S of A. would you hear some proclaiming they don’t want to be techies as they proceed to participate in techienology? Are we so spoiled that we don’t want to learn or work at anything and really believe everything will just “happen” purely “because”? On second thought, don’t answer that.

I’ve been involved in the tech scene for decades, the online world since the late ’80s. I learn something new everyday, embrace the challenges around every corner, get excited by the unbelievable potential and opportunity techienology offers each of us. If we want it. Unfortunately, many prefer to remain mushrooms and actually put what little effort they are willing to contribute to techienology into ensuring they remain in the dark.

Techienology is a learning experience on a daily basis for all of us - no matter how long you have been involved. The challenges and learning curve will never end. I believe that techienology has moved beyond most humans’ comprehension and the average person’s ability to embrace it - without heavy doses of frustration. You know that saying that goes something like anything worth having isn’t easy - that’s techienology.

So, since I get snapped at daily by a Shroom or two, I thought I would give you some tips to help you relieve that frustration, put things in perspective and let you know what you need to prepare for as well as making sure you have realistic expectations. You’ll have a lot more fun with techienology by choosing to not be a Shroom - really! No, I don’t expect to turn you into a techie overnight. But I can certainly help you come out of the dark and into the sun and maybe, just maybe you may bloom into dandelion. Dandelions use the sun and grow and prosper. Put weed killer on them, they come back. Pull them out, they come back. Lack of rain, they still grow! Forget the Shroom mentality - online you need to think like a dandelion!

* Cut yourself some slack: There is no way you will ever get a handle and know everything - so don’t try. Make a list of the issues you want to address, the things you want to learn. List them in an order of priority that matches your goals. Then tackle one issue at a time and master it. Stick to a timetable to complete your list in a realistic time frame and don’t put this off! Online success requires tremendous personal discipline because regardless of what all the junk mail would like you to believe, only you can make things happen.

* Make the Time: Time is not infinite. There isn’t an abundant supply of time. Only so much in a day as they say. So, look at your schedule and see where you can slip in an hour here or there to dedicate to your quest for knowledge acquisition and then once again stick to that schedule! Making time when you are booked solid with other responsibilities requires your commitment to stick to that schedule or it will never happen. You won’t learn the things you will need to succeed unless you do. It won’t happen by osmosis!

* Find Your Guru: I’ve been called a Guru. What I really am is someone who has been involved since the beginning, totally Type A who loves the challenges techienology offers up on a daily basis. You need to find someone you can rely on to give you the straight scoop, the reality of the online world - whether you like it or not. You want the truth right? Yes, it may seem that every one is an “expert” - most only just a tad more than you do! But when you find your guru who has a successful track record, whom you’ve checked the references of, trust them, listen to them and follow their recommendations. Don’t challenge them, second guess them, disregard their recommendations, get mad at them when they say things you don’t want to hear.

Successful gurus have word of mouth referrals sending them more clients than they know what to do with. Even though you are the “customer” you need them more than they need you. You want part of that action because it is based in the reality of results. Treat them with that respect and you will always gets more than you pay for or they may choose to not work with you and you will have lost a valuable partner. If they are a true Guru, let them guru you! Don’t get upset if they disagree with you or challenge you to be the best you can be. The worst thing you can do is gravitate towards those who make techienology sound easy - it simply isn’t. As a matter of fact, run in the opposite direction of anyone who tries to feed you those spores!

* Learn Your Tools: First and foremost, you need to have a strong understanding about how to use your main tool - your computer! Take a class, read a book - rely on resources to teach you how your computer works from directory structure to copy and pasting. In addition, there are three pieces of software that based on your ability to use them correctly and efficiently will make a humongous difference in your level of frustration and success. Your e-mail program, your virus software and your Web browser. Take the tutorials each offers either in the Help menu or at the software manufacturer’s site.

I also highly recommend you add an anti-spyware program that identifies and removes hidden active advertising bots and spyware on your computer that can seriously hinder its performance. These little bits of code can be as harmless as tracking the sites you visit, to some that are down right malicious that track each keystroke. Spyware can be picked up unknowingly from Web sites you may browse, however some spyware actually comes bundled with other software you put on your computer so they can then track you from the time you install their product on your system.

I use SpyBot Search and Destroy which searches your harddrive and registry for existing spying/advertisment robots. If they are found, SpyBot-S&D is able to remove them. This software is free only requesting a “donation” if you decide you want to continue using it. I always donate when a product that is offered at no charge (without annoying deactiviation or nag-notices to pay up or the software no longer functions) that does what it says and that I will continue to use. I highly encourage you to do the same. Run your spyware program minimally weekly to rid your system of privacy invading, resource hogging code.

Master your tools options and functionality because when used properly these tools can be a partner in your success!

* Understand the Culture: There are protocols and “rules” that have been in existence on the Internet since before the World Wide Web. Read up and learn, then practice them. Check out: NetManners.com. Don’t think because the lack of an off-line formal law makes it O.K. for you to just dis the established ways of communicating online. You will regret it!

* e-mail Skills are Mandatory: You will be perceived by your e-mail and writing skills. Don’t build these skills and you’re success level will suffer or be nonexistent. Understand that others do not have anything other than your e-mail to judge you by. There is no friendly face, warm handshake, eye contact that builds trust. I’ve met many a great off-line sales person that cannot put two sentences together in writing - no matter how good their skills are off-line, without e-mail skills the very same salesperson will fail miserably online. Underestimate how your e-mail will portray you at your own risk!

* Set Realistic Goals: No, you don’t have to have an inch think business plan reflecting where every penny will go for the next five years. But… it would be a darned good idea to have some sort of written plan. Fail to plan, plan to fail. I recommend all clients get a notebook that they call their Web book. Carry it around with you always. This way if you get an idea, you can write it down before you forget it - you won’t remember it later - believe me! I have a ton of great ideas I just know are swimming around in my head that I didn’t take the time to write down. Use the list analogy and write down what you want to accomplish and when in order of priority. Review it daily to make sure you are on track. If you miss a date, don’t beat yourself up. Reschedule that goal at a later date and make sure it happens!

* Accept Change and More Change: Techienology is rolling! Professionals such as myself who live this gig 10-12 hours every day have a hard time keeping up with the latest info, trends, new products and opportunities. Realize that by becoming involved you are getting involved in an arena that is in constant flux. This will not change for the foreseeable future so don’t get frustrated when you find you are having difficulty absorbing all the information available. Take things in small chunks.

* Know Your Customers: Every site, due to its owner’s decisions and efforts - or lack there of - even with the very same target market will produce different results. Make a point of knowing your potential and current customer’s needs and cater to them - not to yourself and what you want. Yes, what you want is important - we live in a society where we are all supposed to have what we want just by thinking it right? Real-time information is available for you to determine customer preferences 24/7 and what they are or are not doing at your site - review that information constantly! The point here is that to succeed online, you need to become intimate with your customer’s needs - catering to them fosters success.

* Establish Your Findability: The days of getting found easily are way, way over. Billions of Web pages are now online fighting for the very same listings and visibility. You need to spend some of that nonexistent time networking online, seeking out opportunities and maintaining your Search Engine listings or you simply will not get found. If you don’t network, look for opportunities, review and maintain your Search Engine listings your site will be like a billboard out in the middle of the Sahara desert. Did I mention you won’t get found?

* Be Visible: Those who succeed online are rabidly aggressive. They don’t sit back and wait for things to happen - because they know that would be a very, very, very long wait. Get out there, join lists and become involved in the online community. Lack of these efforts ensures you remain invisible. And if you are invisible, nothing happens - certainly not any level of success.

* Pay Attention to Details: As the master of your enterprise you need to pay attention to every detail of your operation. Lack of attention to detail, whether it be typos, incorrect information, poor timing or planning will be the kiss of death. Techienology is nothing if not a gigantic bushel of details that you need to review, change and address regularly. Everyone is human and will make mistakes. No big deal as long as they are addressed rather than ignored. If you don’t pay attention to all the details in running your online program, your online program won’t pay much attention to you.

And, last but certainly not least..

* Patience is a Virtue: And a necessity online. As with any venture off-line, online success takes patience, tenacity and dedication if solid success is your goal. Techienology will push you to the edge; your patience will be tried at levels you would never have imagined possible. Patience with your business partners, employees and clients will ensure the health of your business for the long term. In the online world remember that you will need to rely on many professionals to help you succeed, treating them rudely or with lack of respect for their time or knowledge because you’ve lost your patience or are frustrated by your lack of understanding will send them running.

So, come out of the dark and into the light! Online opportunities abound and are there for the taking. But not for everyone. “Everyone” doesn’t have the desire and commitment required to prosper online. It won’t happen without YOU!